Of Frappes and Other Things
by uhoh13
Summary: In which Loki commands everyone in McDonald's to kneel before his glorious presence, a girl asks him why he's being so weird, and then he gets a brain-freeze as they discuss magic and castles. Terrible summary, yes, but hopefully the story's better. LokixOC


"Kneel!"

It was the first time some random guy – anyone at all, actually – had said that to me. So, thinking it obviously couldn't have been meant for me, I ignored it. And I was right; it wasn't meant just for me.

It was for everyone in McDonald's, _including _me.

The simple yet authoritative word hung in the air as a tall, thin man with black hair long enough to reach his shoulder blades and a green dress-looking thing that matched his eyes crossed his arms over his chest and raised an irritated brow when people stared at him.

My first thought was suddenly blurted out, much to my embarrassment: "Are you foreign or something?"

That caused a few snickers, though the strange man's narrowing of the eyes seemed to convey something other than amusement. "Did you not hear, human? Kneel! Bow before your new ruler – Loki, Prince of Asgard and Lord of Mischief!"

Brows raised, I decided to simple remain silent. No need to further encourage someone with obvious mental incapacities, right? Besides, this guy was bigger than me, and could most likely kick my ass if I offended him any more. So I turned back to face the menu board hanging above the register. Mocha frappe, medium fry...

"You! Girl!"

I jolted as something roughly whirled me around by the shoulder, and suddenly I was staring straight up into the enraged face of a middle-aged crazy guy that looked like he wanted to stomp me to death. "Mira."

Then he looked confused. Amazing how quickly someone's expression can change. "Mira? A word of secret magic?"

"My name," I deadpanned, raising a brow. Maybe my face looked confident enough, but my knees were already trembling. Weird how he didn't comment on the tremors most likely coursing through my bones. Surely he could feel them. "Mira is my name. Not 'you, girl'."

He blinked, and in half a second he was back to angry once again. "Is that so? Then bow, _Mira_!"

I didn't necessarily like the way he sneered my name. Like it was a joke, or something. "Um... May I ask why..? I'm just trying to get a frappe..."

Again, that confused expression washed over his face, with a curiosity that lit up his dark green eyes. "Fra... ppe..."

"You've never had one?" I couldn't help the incredulous note to my tone; I thought practically everyone who'd been to McDonald's had tried one of their amazing frozen coffee drinks. Sure, it was winter, but still. Awesome needs no specific season.

"Magic?" he tried, but I should my head. Magic? Close, but not quite...

"It's... it's like..." How to explain this kind of thing? "I'll just let you try mine, okay? And if you like it, I'll buy you one. How about that?"

What was I doing? Buying some stranger a frappe? Offering him some of mine like it was normal? What if I caught his weirdness? Would I become all totalitarian as well? I took a deep breath and stepped up the the counter. _I guess we'll see_.

About five minutes later, I'd somehow managed to coax the guy – Loki, I remembered – into a booth, sitting across from me. He watched the food on the tray before him intently, as if expecting it to come alive and do a dance for him. "What is this?"

I took a fry from the tray, dipped it in ketchup, and popped it into my mouth. Now his eyes were on me as I chewed. If he was trying to make me self-conscious, he was succeeding. A lot. I gestured for him to do the same, and he blinked and looked down at the food again. Eventually he copied me, cautious, glancing at me occasionally to make sure he was doing this right and wasn't going to mess up. I kept nodding my approval. It was just food, man. But I allowed him all the time he needed – which was way too much for a fry, by my standards – and soon he was chewing with an awestruck look that made his bright eyes even brighter.

"So this is the frappe you speak of?" he said finally, that awe even coating his voice. "How delightful."

I shook my head. "That's a fry. French fry, you know?" Apparently he didn't know. "A frappe is this." I tapped the lid snapped onto the cup; condensation was already dripping down the sides and making a ring on the tabletop. "Coffee, chocolate, sugar, and ice. Basically."

"Coffee, chocolate, sugar, and ice." He nodded, seeming to approve, before picking up the cup and studying it. "How does one retain the contents of such a container?"

"Uh..." The look on my face made his brow furrow. How could he not understand something so obvious? "The straw. Use the straw." He looked confused again, so I pointed at said straw to indicate what I meant. "Just... like... suck the stuff out through the straw. With your mouth. I guess."

Silence and staring.

Finally I just took the cup from him and demonstrated. But I was too hasty; the back of my skull began to ache, and I gritted my teeth. I said nothing about it, however, and finally he was drinking on his own. I muttered a warning about brain-freezes, but he didn't know what that meant either, so I figured I'd just let him learn about it on his own.

And, soon enough, he did.

He suddenly froze, eyes widening slightly as his jaw dropped and he roughly set the cup down. Apparently it had offended him. "It tries to wound me!" he said a little too loudly. "This sudden pain... Has the magic rejected me? I thought it was accepting me well before!"

"Brain-freeze," I said in an I-Told-You-So fashion that made him pout. "Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. That'll make it go away."

He promptly obeyed as his jaw set in concentration. His eyes lit up suddenly. "It worked! You must be the true founder of this magic, knowing it so well. No wonder it rejected me." There was a faint upturning of the corners of his lips as he continued – slowly – with the frappe. It was so unlike the power-hungry crazy guy just a few minutes ago, and I just ended up watching him, looking for any signs of... well, hidden craziness that I must have been missing. But there was nothing.

Soon enough the fries were gone and the cup was empty. I was already fifteen minutes late to school; might as well just skip for today. But now what was I supposed to do? Abandon this guy who had no common sense to fend for himself? A sharp twinge in my conscience made that answer quite clear.

"If this is your castle, Magician, it is quite small." He was leaning back in his seat now, looking around at the all the people and tables and pictures on the walls. "Do you not agree?"

"This isn't a castle," I assured with a small laugh. "This is where some people come to eat. No one here, including me, has a castle. Just houses."

He nodded in understanding. "Ah. So you all are poor people?"

Oh my word. Where had this man been living before now? "No, not necessarily. Not poor. Just not wealthy enough for a castle. Too big and grand for my taste, anyway. How would you ever remember which bedroom is yours when there are so many in the same hallway?"

That look of confusion had returned by now, and he leaned his chin in his palm, elbow in the table. "I do not understand. I used to find my bedroom quite easily."

I was silent for a moment, trying to process this, before speaking. "You've lived in a castle."

"Yes."

"Seriously."

"As always."

"You're kidding, right? You're just joking?"

Now he was offended. "I just said I was serious!"

I shook my head, still not believing it. Although it would sort of sound right with his whole 'bow to me' deal before. So maybe. Still, it all sounded too much like a fairytale to me; a prince living in a castle marries a peasant girl and they live happily ever after.

Marries a peasant girl?

I could feel the heat in my cheeks rising to a temperature beyond normalcy. This time I was actually _hoping _he wouldn't understand this.

Alas, it wasn't meant to be.

"Are you blushing?" No, genius, I'm singing. "You are thinking of someone?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that. I didn't want to lie, but on the other hand, I really sort of did. So I simply shrugged; couldn't go wrong with that. Not a yes, not a no, not a lie. One of the best answers ever.

Loki, however, did not look pleased. "Answer the question or I will cause you great agony."

For some reason, I felt a bit threatened. "Okay, okay. I was just thinking of someone, that's all. Now, new topic..."

"'Someone' as in..?"

Well, I tried. "No one."

His dark brow furrowed in that almost childlike confusion. "Someone, but no one? Your strange magic again?"

I decided to just leave it at that with a brief nod. "Sure."

He pondered this a moment, pursing his lips and frowning down at the table in silent wonder. "I suppose I need to learn more about this world," he murmured finally. "Does every human have their own strange magic? Do they all control the pain of the delightful frappe? And eat the fry? I know for a fact that not all of them are such beautiful creatures, but surely they must have something in common with you, Magician."

Beyond 'creatures', I heard nothing. "Did you just indirectly call me beautiful?" I blurted out, causing my blush to return much too soon.

With a smirk, he copied my light shrug. "Sure."


End file.
